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Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man: A Memoir, by Bill Clegg
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Bill Clegg had a thriving business as a literary agent, representing a growing list of writers. He had a supportive partner, trusting colleagues, and loving friends when he walked away from his world and embarked on a two-month crack binge. He had been released from rehab nine months earlier, and his relapse would cost him his home, his money, his career, and very nearly his life.
What is it that leads an exceptional young mind to want to disappear? Clegg makes stunningly clear the attraction of the drug that had him in its thrall, capturing in scene after scene the drama, tension, and paranoiac nightmare of a secret life-and the exhilarating bliss that came again and again until it was eclipsed almost entirely by doom. PORTRAIT OF AN ADDICT AS A YOUNG MAN is an utterly compelling narrative-lyrical, irresistible, harsh, and honest-from which you simply cannot look away.
- Sales Rank: #4720909 in Books
- Published on: 2011-08-08
- Format: Bargain Price
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .75" w x 5.50" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
From Publishers Weekly
A rising publishing industry star trashes his life during a bender in this intense but callow confessional. Clegg, a literary agent with William Morris Endeavor, tells the story of a two-month crack binge in which he smoked away his literary agency partnership, his $70,000 bank account, 40 pounds (he's forever cutting new holes in his belt to cinch it to his wasting frame), and his relationship with his devoted long-suffering boyfriend. There's crazed excess and tawdry sex, but also a sharply etched portrait of the addict's mindset: the veering between paranoia and a compulsive sociability with the random crackheads he picks up to party with; the shrinkage of the planning horizon to the search for the next hit; the bliss of the high (the warmest, most tender caress... then, as it recedes, the coldest hand); the bender's unstoppable acceleration until, like a cartoon character running off a cliff, it has nothing left to sustain it. The author's efforts to impart psychological depth to his addiction—he writes of wan collegiate debauches and a childhood complex about urinating—are less convincing; it's clear that the binge will end when his money runs out. Though richly rendered, Clegg's crack odyssey feels like an epic bout of self-indulgence. (June 14)
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From Bookmarks Magazine
In this chilling debut, Clegg has written a serious and compelling, if somewhat detached, addition to the subgenre of "addiction memoirs." Clegg's tight, elegant prose, earnest tone, and meticulous attention to detail call up a fairy tale world brutally transformed into a monstrous hell. While the New York Times Book Review and the Times considered the book tedious and clichéd, their comments appeared to be directed more toward the genre as a whole, whose repetitive descriptions of substance abuse are "amply familiar to anyone who has ever watched a single episode of Behind the Music on VH-1" (Times). Of course, reviewer David Carr has written his own tale of addiction, The Night of the Gun (***1/2 Nov/Dec 2008). Most critics, however, agreed with the Globe and Mail, which called Clegg's unflinching, intelligent, and grim account "a skillfully conjured, slow-motion train wreck from which it's impossible to look away."
From Booklist
Clegg was a partner in a thriving literary agency and was involved in a long-term, loving relationship when he succumbed to cocaine addiction. For two months, he went on a crack binge that emptied his bank account, ruined his business, destroyed his relationship, and nearly took his life. Clegg alternates between recollections of his slow and steady decline into addiction and his youthful discovery that he was gay, humiliated by his father's taunts and his mother's distance. As his addiction escalated, he frantically chased the high, endlessly starting over after binges of drinking and smoking crack, running away from every intervention effort by his family or his lover, indulging in anonymous sex with a string of fellow users. When his disheveled appearance prompts a hotel to reject his attempt to register, he realizes he has fallen into “the purgatory between citizen and nobody, between fine young man and bum” and begins a slow and painful recovery. This is a heartbreaking and completely absorbing look at the wreckage of cocaine addiction. --Vanessa Bush
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Surpassed expectations...not one hint of sentimentality
By D. Weaver
The narrative voice in Clegg's memoir is unusually strong, making it a real page turner. Several times I feared that he would, after some particularly vivid moment in the book, begin to lead the reader up the twelve yawn inducing steps toward recovery. But he seems to have known that choosing such a path in the middle of such a wild descent into hell would result in the kind of cloying, predictable, prostration at the altar of belief, which would have rendered his brilliant observations inert. But I'm happy to say that this never happened. And as good looking as Clegg is, the drug-induced paranoia he navigates had me thanking my lucky stars that I never had the opportunity of getting high with him. I'm eager to see how he handles recovery in his new book, "Ninety Days."
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
What you like
By Thomas L. Marshall
Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man is one of the best books I have ever read, it grabbed me by the balls and wouldn't let go until the end! Bill Clegg doesn't try to impress us that he is another Proust, but he does impress never-the-less, with honesty and humility, sharing in raw edged and well written detail the degradation of childhood, and dashed successes of adulthood due to drugs. Having had a rugged time of it through much of life, I sought refuge from pain for a time in self-medication--this is not exactly like addiction, but many details are the same. Bill Clegg not only helped me understand myself better but he reminded me I'm not alone, and for those reasons I am very grateful, and look forward to his next book. Some have criticized the quality of the author's writing. I object. They criticized van Gogh in the beginning, his work was not art they said. But they were wrong.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Not everyone deals with their issues by trying to "escape" reality and treating those who love us like dirt
By R D Rosenkoetter
The book, perhaps, was a true account of an addict's spiraling life. However, I'm not sure whether the point was to not do drugs or that all of us have problems. Not everyone deals with their issues by trying to "escape" reality and treating those who love us like dirt.
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